Monday, August 11, 2014

Should I stay or should I go?

This summer has been one filled with so many experiences, choices, and opportunities. It is difficult for me to choose when I have options, because I'm afraid of making the wrong choice. I get paralyzed and in the end, pick what is safer. Having anxiety turns my thoughts into ruminating worries, that for a typical person would be simpler. A person without anxiety might instinctively make a list of pros and cons, talk to lots of people, or consult a mentor. That takes alot of work and effort for me to even think of doing those things because I instinctively freeze or flee (ignore or avoid). That's also why I procrastinate with homework too, but (God-willing) I have passed my comprehensive exam, which I submitted on 7/29/14. I find out on 8/28/2014 if I passed/failed.

That said, here is my dilemma:
1. I was accepted to the UCSF Post-Master's Pedatric Nurse Practitioner Program from Fall 2014-Fall 2015 (1.5-2  ears more or less).
2. I was offered a job at Stanford Children's hospital, requiring 2 years minimum commitment from Fall 2014-Fall 2016.
3. I cannot do both.

So I forgot where I learned this skill, but typically people do a pros and cons list of the things they are considering doing, but they don't do an additional pros and cons list of not doing the things they are considering. Many things overlap, but not always so this is kind of what I'm looking at:

PROS of doing X
CONS of doing X
PROS of not doing X
CONS of not doing X

So, essentially, I should have 4 boxes per choice that I am considering doing. I'll post my results in the next post.

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